Wednesday, September 7, 2016

Basics On Couples Counseling Chicago Families Should Know

By Jason Ellis


Even for couples that have been married for years and have been happy for the most part, conflicts are not uncommon. Disagreements range from those involving minute household issues to those involving serious matters that have the potential to end the relationship. Therapy is an effective intervention when things seem to be getting out of hand. There are a number of things on couples counseling Chicago residents need to know if they wish to have this therapy.

The decision to undergo therapy is not an easy one to make. For most people, couples counseling is considered as a last resort when all other mediation efforts have been unsuccessful. It is not advisable to wait until the situation deteriorates for the parties to seek help from a professional. As a matter of fact, even partners that are enjoying a fairly stable relationship may need to make an occasional visit to the therapist.

Once the couple decides to sign up for therapy, their next task is to look for a qualified therapist (marriage counselor). Recommendations can be obtained from relatives, friends and from the internet. If you cannot find a therapist then consider other alternatives. Doctors, nurses, psychiatrists and psychologists are have some training in therapy and may be of help. Religious leaders may also offer some useful advice.

The duration of therapy will vary depending on the nature of the problems that the couple is dealing with. In general, two forms of therapy exist: short term and long term. The former is done in one to three sessions while the latter lasts for between 12 and 24 sessions. Each session takes between 30 and 45 minutes. A sub-type of the therapy known as solution focused therapy takes a little shorter.

One of the most important things that the partners have to do for this therapy to be effective is to recognize that different people subscribe to different beliefs. These are shaped by the environment in which they have been brought up. For this reason, it is not always possible to have them agree on all issues all the time; differences are bound to arise. During the therapy, the different value systems are brought to the table and partners learn how to deal with each other.

Therapy gives the partners an opportunity to reflect on the past and to understand how it influences the present. In many cases, problems have a history and build up slowly until they become full blown. By understanding how the problems started they will be better placed to come up with solutions. They learn why their arguments escalate and find out how they can communicate more effectively with each other.

The therapist plays the important role of being a facilitator. They should not be relied upon to provide instructions on how to handle problems. Their help mainly comes in the form of guidance and personal suggestions. The couple should have the freedom to discuss their issues in front of the therapist without fear of judgment.

There are many causes of conflicts in marital relationships. They include, among others, extramarital affairs, lack of trust, failure to meet assigned responsibilities, family conflicts, differences in parenting styles and so on. In couples counselling, the partners get a chance to learn more about their differences and how best they can negotiate to bridge them. Communication is emphasized as an important problem solving tool.




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