Among the reasons approaching a beautiful woman is so difficult is the congruence test. A beautiful woman gets hit on as much as 15 times a day! Because of this, she needs a super efficient system to quickly filter out the monkeys from the possibles.
A congruence test is a test to see if you are really as confident as you seem to be, usually by throwing a fussy remark or insulting you in some manner. It is to see how you, their prospective date, reacts to a stressful stimulus. The reasoning is, if you can put up with her extreme opinions and emotions, you might be able to handle her in the real world.
A congruence test can be offensive, dejecting, and just plain mean. It is designed to shake your confidence so that a lesser man will run away. These are some of the tests you can expect to be given:
"Do you always hit on girls at bars?"
"How old are you?"
"What kind of car do you drive?"
"How old are you?"
"How old are you?"
"I'm not interested"
"I only talk to good looking guys."
and my favorite, "Who the HELL are you?"
Pretty brutal! If you experienced a congruence test, it feels like you've been kicked in the balls, then to the face, then stabbed in the gut... Meanwhile, your ego plummets faster than you can run away from her. Good news is that this is a filtering mechanism and doesn't necessarily mean the woman is not interested. There are four techniques you can use to turn her rudeness into a flirtation and show her that you can handle a woman who is a little bitchy sometimes.
1) Flipping the script
Flipping the script means that you're using what she said as leverage and throw it back to them. If she says, "I only speak to good looking guys." You can just respond, "Is that why you like me so much?" Or if she says "You're a little chubby, aren't you?" You can reply, "Yeah! We should lose a couple pounds together." This will startle and most likely amuse her. It'll soften her up if nothing else.
2) Misinterpret
Misinterpretation means that any time a woman tests you for congruence, you "mistakenly" misinterpret it as a sexual advance. If she says "Where'd you get those hideous shoes?" or "Do you always hit on girls at bars?" She's giving you a congruence test and wishes to rattle you a bit. Respond with "Look, I have actually just met you, don't come on to me so quickly." She'll wind up being the surprised one, and you will have successfully pass her testing.
3) Ignore
Just brush it off. Continue with whatever plan you had. Or, pretend she said something different. "Nah, I don't feel like dancing right now. Maybe a little later though." Don't get caught up in her game; she really just wants to know that you won't be scared away by it, she doesn't need a sparring partner.
4) Play along
Another way to surprise her and turn the conversation onto a more favorable road is to just make the comment playful by playing along. "I could ask you the same thing!" meets her at her level of intensity and acknowledges her hesitation to engage you but turns the confrontation into something fun.
That's it!
When you get over your approach anxiety, and approach a woman with all the confidence you are able to summon and she reacts with a mean comment, it is easy to become dejected. Just remember that she is testing you. She has done this to all the chumps that came prior to you. But you are not a typical chump, so don't hesitate, even for a second, or she'll know that she has had an effect on you. As soon as she tosses a congruence test at you, don't waver in your confidence and deliver your reply. Be confident, remain confident, and don't let her shake that self-confidence.
A congruence test is a test to see if you are really as confident as you seem to be, usually by throwing a fussy remark or insulting you in some manner. It is to see how you, their prospective date, reacts to a stressful stimulus. The reasoning is, if you can put up with her extreme opinions and emotions, you might be able to handle her in the real world.
A congruence test can be offensive, dejecting, and just plain mean. It is designed to shake your confidence so that a lesser man will run away. These are some of the tests you can expect to be given:
"Do you always hit on girls at bars?"
"How old are you?"
"What kind of car do you drive?"
"How old are you?"
"How old are you?"
"I'm not interested"
"I only talk to good looking guys."
and my favorite, "Who the HELL are you?"
Pretty brutal! If you experienced a congruence test, it feels like you've been kicked in the balls, then to the face, then stabbed in the gut... Meanwhile, your ego plummets faster than you can run away from her. Good news is that this is a filtering mechanism and doesn't necessarily mean the woman is not interested. There are four techniques you can use to turn her rudeness into a flirtation and show her that you can handle a woman who is a little bitchy sometimes.
1) Flipping the script
Flipping the script means that you're using what she said as leverage and throw it back to them. If she says, "I only speak to good looking guys." You can just respond, "Is that why you like me so much?" Or if she says "You're a little chubby, aren't you?" You can reply, "Yeah! We should lose a couple pounds together." This will startle and most likely amuse her. It'll soften her up if nothing else.
2) Misinterpret
Misinterpretation means that any time a woman tests you for congruence, you "mistakenly" misinterpret it as a sexual advance. If she says "Where'd you get those hideous shoes?" or "Do you always hit on girls at bars?" She's giving you a congruence test and wishes to rattle you a bit. Respond with "Look, I have actually just met you, don't come on to me so quickly." She'll wind up being the surprised one, and you will have successfully pass her testing.
3) Ignore
Just brush it off. Continue with whatever plan you had. Or, pretend she said something different. "Nah, I don't feel like dancing right now. Maybe a little later though." Don't get caught up in her game; she really just wants to know that you won't be scared away by it, she doesn't need a sparring partner.
4) Play along
Another way to surprise her and turn the conversation onto a more favorable road is to just make the comment playful by playing along. "I could ask you the same thing!" meets her at her level of intensity and acknowledges her hesitation to engage you but turns the confrontation into something fun.
That's it!
When you get over your approach anxiety, and approach a woman with all the confidence you are able to summon and she reacts with a mean comment, it is easy to become dejected. Just remember that she is testing you. She has done this to all the chumps that came prior to you. But you are not a typical chump, so don't hesitate, even for a second, or she'll know that she has had an effect on you. As soon as she tosses a congruence test at you, don't waver in your confidence and deliver your reply. Be confident, remain confident, and don't let her shake that self-confidence.
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