Stories are the essence of humanity; they help us make sense of the world, and make it a more interesting place to live. We are going to use them to make your online dating profile more effective and memorable.
One of the best mnemonic tools for remembering a list of abstract words is to create a story. You can pick any list of words, and if you just try to learn them by rote you won't be nearly as successful as if you can connect them into a story. Here are some random words I've grabbed by flicking through a book: number, months, brothers, story, replaced, phantom, shot, prepare, nature, work, remember. If you tried to remember each word individually, you would have no aid to get from one word to the next. Our brains like connections, they like things to make sense. This is where stories come in. Stories make connections between abstract concepts. So a great way of remembering this list of words is to think 'a number of months later the brothers were sitting around telling a story about how one of them had been replaced by a phantom. They had been shot, so the phantom had prepared a special medicine from nature, and it worked! They remembered this for the rest of their lives.
Tricks Of The Trade
So why not use this technique to make you stand out and be remembered? Critical to your profile is presenting what would otherwise be a random collection of attributes, experiences and interests as an integrated story. It will make your profile more appealing to your reader and means that they can experience a deeper connection to you because you make more sense to them, and it helps them to remember you even after they have gone offline. These are all highly desirable outcomes.
So then what are the secrets of creating a great story?
1. Show, don't tell. What do you mean? It means you shouldn't force information onto the reader, you should let them experience it and draw their own conclusions. For example, you want them to think you are intelligent. Writing in your profile 'I am intelligent' is not nearly as effective as 'my university paper on the themes of women's liberation in Jane Eyre was published in a leading academic journal'.
2. Structure. Good stories have structure, meaning that they have a beginning, middle and an end. The structure reinforces the purpose of the story. We expect there to be order. Despite the dissected nature of the online profile - height over here, movies over there, photo in the top right hand corner - there still needs to be structure within it all. It should have an introduction, main body and conclusion. The intro is a nice summary of your main points, the body goes through each point and gives examples, and the conclusion reinforces the points and leaves the reader with something to think about.
3. Focus. Remove extraneous pieces of information from the story. We don't find out that Little Red Riding Hood also visited the baker on Tuesdays, unless this would be important knowledge to the story. While writing your profile, it might feel like there are many different parts to be covered, however you should use your branding to make sure you focus on the important parts. If you like your three key attributes into a story, this can help you stay focused. Think of it just like a Coke ad. If my life were like a Coke ad, it would start with my elaborate and clever plan to get your attention (intelligent), there would be a scene where you were impressed as I stripped off my Coke drenched T-shirt (good-looking), and finish with us laughing on the beach (sense of humour). If you think your clever, hot and funny, why not?
4. The hook. The first line of a book is always the most important, and hardest to write. It needs to introduce the flavour of the book, as well as hooking the audience into the story. If the first line isn't interesting, most people won't keep reading. The same goes for your profile, which we will discuss more under Creating Your Tagline (if you want to read the rest of this book, 'The Nice Guy's Guide To Online Dating Profiles' it's available on Amazon).
5. Find your voice. The way you say something is just as important as what you say. Your word choice indicates a lot about you, and taking time to find the right word can make the difference between a boring or fascinating story. You want to ensure that your writing style reflects your branding. For example, using a lot of slang might undercut your assertion that you are educated and cultured. But similarly, using a lot of highbrow words will conflict with your image of being a down-to-earth, nice guy.
6. Pacing. How you write, the punctuation and words you use can have a physical effect on your reader. If you increase the pace of your writing, the reader will start breathing faster, getting more excited (or anxious, depending on the nature of the story) and have more adrenaline pumping through their body. If you slow the pacing you can soothe them, help them relax (and occasionally send them to sleep). Therefore, you want to pick the pacing for your free writing section that mirrors your branding. If you are aiming for cultured and refined, a slower pace would be more appropriate. If you are going for adventurous and sporty, then you want a faster pace. Two simple tricks for setting the pace are punctuation and word choice. Shorter sentences and shorter words with sharp consonants will give a faster pace. Or, more commas and longer words with long vowels will give a slower pace. It's pretty simple once it's pointed out, and you might have been doing it subconsciously in places. However, now you can make your writing more consistent and fix it if you need to.
That's it - the tricks of the trade in storytelling. Keep these in mind to write a memorable, well-flowing profile!.
One of the best mnemonic tools for remembering a list of abstract words is to create a story. You can pick any list of words, and if you just try to learn them by rote you won't be nearly as successful as if you can connect them into a story. Here are some random words I've grabbed by flicking through a book: number, months, brothers, story, replaced, phantom, shot, prepare, nature, work, remember. If you tried to remember each word individually, you would have no aid to get from one word to the next. Our brains like connections, they like things to make sense. This is where stories come in. Stories make connections between abstract concepts. So a great way of remembering this list of words is to think 'a number of months later the brothers were sitting around telling a story about how one of them had been replaced by a phantom. They had been shot, so the phantom had prepared a special medicine from nature, and it worked! They remembered this for the rest of their lives.
Tricks Of The Trade
So why not use this technique to make you stand out and be remembered? Critical to your profile is presenting what would otherwise be a random collection of attributes, experiences and interests as an integrated story. It will make your profile more appealing to your reader and means that they can experience a deeper connection to you because you make more sense to them, and it helps them to remember you even after they have gone offline. These are all highly desirable outcomes.
So then what are the secrets of creating a great story?
1. Show, don't tell. What do you mean? It means you shouldn't force information onto the reader, you should let them experience it and draw their own conclusions. For example, you want them to think you are intelligent. Writing in your profile 'I am intelligent' is not nearly as effective as 'my university paper on the themes of women's liberation in Jane Eyre was published in a leading academic journal'.
2. Structure. Good stories have structure, meaning that they have a beginning, middle and an end. The structure reinforces the purpose of the story. We expect there to be order. Despite the dissected nature of the online profile - height over here, movies over there, photo in the top right hand corner - there still needs to be structure within it all. It should have an introduction, main body and conclusion. The intro is a nice summary of your main points, the body goes through each point and gives examples, and the conclusion reinforces the points and leaves the reader with something to think about.
3. Focus. Remove extraneous pieces of information from the story. We don't find out that Little Red Riding Hood also visited the baker on Tuesdays, unless this would be important knowledge to the story. While writing your profile, it might feel like there are many different parts to be covered, however you should use your branding to make sure you focus on the important parts. If you like your three key attributes into a story, this can help you stay focused. Think of it just like a Coke ad. If my life were like a Coke ad, it would start with my elaborate and clever plan to get your attention (intelligent), there would be a scene where you were impressed as I stripped off my Coke drenched T-shirt (good-looking), and finish with us laughing on the beach (sense of humour). If you think your clever, hot and funny, why not?
4. The hook. The first line of a book is always the most important, and hardest to write. It needs to introduce the flavour of the book, as well as hooking the audience into the story. If the first line isn't interesting, most people won't keep reading. The same goes for your profile, which we will discuss more under Creating Your Tagline (if you want to read the rest of this book, 'The Nice Guy's Guide To Online Dating Profiles' it's available on Amazon).
5. Find your voice. The way you say something is just as important as what you say. Your word choice indicates a lot about you, and taking time to find the right word can make the difference between a boring or fascinating story. You want to ensure that your writing style reflects your branding. For example, using a lot of slang might undercut your assertion that you are educated and cultured. But similarly, using a lot of highbrow words will conflict with your image of being a down-to-earth, nice guy.
6. Pacing. How you write, the punctuation and words you use can have a physical effect on your reader. If you increase the pace of your writing, the reader will start breathing faster, getting more excited (or anxious, depending on the nature of the story) and have more adrenaline pumping through their body. If you slow the pacing you can soothe them, help them relax (and occasionally send them to sleep). Therefore, you want to pick the pacing for your free writing section that mirrors your branding. If you are aiming for cultured and refined, a slower pace would be more appropriate. If you are going for adventurous and sporty, then you want a faster pace. Two simple tricks for setting the pace are punctuation and word choice. Shorter sentences and shorter words with sharp consonants will give a faster pace. Or, more commas and longer words with long vowels will give a slower pace. It's pretty simple once it's pointed out, and you might have been doing it subconsciously in places. However, now you can make your writing more consistent and fix it if you need to.
That's it - the tricks of the trade in storytelling. Keep these in mind to write a memorable, well-flowing profile!.
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Want more advice on writing well? Check out Buffy Greentree's website 100 first drafts
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