Thursday, January 2, 2014

Dealing With Your Emotions After Your Breakup

By Russell Hood


Whether you've just gone through a breakup and you want to get your ex back or you want to move on, often overcoming the pain can be a seemingly impossible task. You think about your ex all the time. Every morning you relive the pain and emotions of being alone. There's anger, sorrow, depression and a feeling of worthlessness that goes along with each and every breakup no matter what the circumstances might have been.

You worry that she's going to get used to living her life without you. But even more, you just worry that the window of opportunity is closing so you're frantic to find a solution to your problem and get her back as soon as possible.

Dealing with your emotions over your breakup is very important. Regaining your feeling of self worth and your own self-confidence is necessary for you to function as a normal human being again. Ah, to feel normal again! Wouldn't that be awesome? It will happen for you. You need to know this no matter if you want to move past your relationship or if you hope to get back together with your ex. Getting rid of those feelings that harm us and replacing them with emotions that help you is a necessary step in your healing process and becoming the kind of person that you were before your breakup.

Being nice to her, buying her gifts and doing things for her isn't going to win her back either. Bribery just makes things awkward. Even emotional bribery such as telling her that you care about her, that you love her or even checking on her only serve to make her feel uncomfortable.

If she needs your help or wants to enjoy your company, she will call you. In a healthy relationship there is equal give and take. Gifts given now will only make her angry thinking about how you didn't give her gifts when you were together. Thoughtful phone calls to check on her will remind her of the times that you neglected her. Telling her that you love her will be too little too late and having to hear that awkward silence isn't going to help your male ego at all.

In case you didn't know already, all of these methods will fail you. No matter how much your frantic mind might want to convince you that these are the right things to do, it's lying to you. Your mind will try to tell you all sorts of things to get you to just act and do the wrong things. It is filled with fear right now. Fear will cause you to do anything right about now, even if it's wrong. You should be kicking back right now coming up with a real plan to get your girlfriend back if you're serious.

Next, remember that actions mean everything and words mean almost nothing to a woman. You can talk all day long about what you're going to do with your life. She will be filled with doubt and be telling herself that it will never happen. On the other hand, improving yourself in various areas of your life such as your physique, eating habits, appearance, social status or career without talking about it, speaks volumes. Do something great with your life that you always dreamed of and then let her find out about it. Actions speak louder than words to a woman.

It certainly is possible to win her back by hitting her emotional hot buttons. It's might not be easy for you but it is rather simple. Like many things in life, it's only when we really care that things get difficult. If you didn't care about her and love her then it would be a piece of cake to win her over. Your heart is involved though. You want things to work out so it's important that you have a well laid out plan that is bomb proof and effective.




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